In which I (vaguely) update you about my recent big decisions or what's going on in my life right now. If you have no time to read, there's a short summary here.
I have more free time now. More free time than I'd like, truth be told, and it's a disconcerting (but truly welcomed) feeling. I've been wanting a break from things for so long and I finally have it now. I feel like life is trying to teach me a lesson. I've always had a stubborn, jump head first attitude. I never really think things through. I have always been a fan of biting off more than I can chew.
I'd like to believe that in place of dreams that die a quick death, a rebirth happens. Something different, but better and bigger than plans I alone have made for myself. I like the idea of that. I like believing in reasons that will only surface through time. One of the lessons I learned this year is that all things truly great take time and tremendous effort. The road to success is tedious and no one will give me anything. I like that challenge but it's impossible to rise to that challenge when I'm distracted. I have to focus and regroup. I believe better paths are rewarded to people who continuously try and pull themselves back up to start over again.
I'm not a stranger to disappointment management, dream realignment, holding on and then letting go of goals that prove to be futile. I think in one way or another, I knew that adulthood will wake me from the idyllic dreams I once had in my youth. And although it seems that guiding lights rarely come to jaded, undiscovered twenty-somethings (or twenty-flat in my case) of my generation, I know that one day, after we've dusted ourselves off these sad, real world stumbles, we'll find our way again.
It doesn't have to happen all in one time.
