A short book report: Hector and the Search for Happiness

One of the nice books I've read in 2012 is Francois Lelord's Hector and the Search for Happiness. The premise for this book is simple, Hector is a young shrink who's done everything right. Yet, the feeling of listlessness and confusion won't leave Hector as he continues to see that his patients are persistently unhappy. He realizes that despite his excellent training and sympathetic ear, he doesn't really know how to help them find happiness as he doesn't know what it is himself. Even worse, he finds himself becoming increasingly drained and dissatisfied by his own life--in many ways, he is as lost as his patients. Leaving everything behind, including his uncertain relationship with a pharma exec named Clara, Hector books a vacation with a mission--to travel the world in search for happiness. What makes people happy? What makes people unhappy? He searches the world far and wide (exage, Reisha) to seek the truth and find meaningful answers to his questions. 

In his first stop (China), he meets a lonely businessman trapped on the money-making treadmill, a prostitute who teaches him about love, and a monk high up in the mountains who asks him to return once his journey is complete. In Africa, he meets a doctor working with very poor patients, holds a conversation with a drug lord and a bartender and runs into the local mob. On his last stop in the United States, Hector sees a "happiness expert", one that helps him piece through all of the realities he has seen and experienced during his travels. There, Hector manages to draw a few more conclusions about the connection between happiness and relationships. 

Here are the lessons that Hector has learned in the course of his travels, how or why did he come to these conclusions, I'll leave for you to find out. Buy the book! The writing is simplistic but the plot is very nicely laid out--expect a hard hit of wanderlust and  heaps of existential thinking to kick in afterwards. As always, enjoy!

Lesson 1- Making comparisons can spoil your happiness.

Lesson 2- Happiness often comes when least expected.

Lesson 3- Many people only see happiness in their future.

Lesson 4- Many people think that happiness comes from having more power or more money.

Lesson 5- Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story.

Lesson 6- Happiness is a long walk in beautiful, unfamiliar mountains.

Lesson 7- It’s a mistake to think that happiness is the goal.

Lesson 8A- Happiness is being with the people that you love.

Lesson 8B- Unhappiness is being separated from the people that you love.

Lesson 9- Happiness is knowing that your family lacks for nothing.

Lesson 10- Happiness is doing a job that you love.

Lesson 11- Happiness is having a home and a garden of your own.

Lesson 12- It’s harder to be happy in a country run by bad people.

Lesson 13- Happiness is feeling useful to others.

Lesson 14- Happiness is to be loved for EXACTLY who you are.

Lesson 15- Happiness comes when you feel truly alive.

Lesson 16- Happiness is knowing how to celebrate.

Lesson 17- Happiness is caring about the happiness of those you love.

Lesson 18- The Sun and the Sea make everybody happy.

Lesson 19- Happiness is not attaching too much importance to what other people think.

Lesson 20- Happiness is a certain way of seeing things.

Lesson 21- Rivalry ruins happiness.

How about you? Are you happy with the life you lead? Do you get to reflect on things while you travel? Do you write about them? I hope so. I find that one of the exciting pleasures of leaving is the opportunity of coming back a changed person--a smarter one, at least. 

Birthday Diaries: The John Lennon edition

In which I write something about a date John Lennon and I share

When Adele was 21, she was writing about her pain, translating the heartache into beautiful lyrics full of passion, emotion and intesity. Now that I am 21, I am writing...well, blogs. Clearly, one of us has the hard luck case of underachieving and that is definitely not Adele. 

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about Adele. I will, however, talk about another music phenom, one that still influences me heavily thirty-one years after his death. People say rock stars are gods, now I don't know about you but I think John Lennon really lived up to that saying. In many ways, he was a visionary, a political activist and a music legend. And like real rock stars, he went away, not with a fizzle, but with a bang. It was 10:50pm of December 08, 1980, when a deranged fan (an insane hater is a more fitting description but "fan" is widely used) named Mark Chapman shot John Lennon in front of his building's driveway, at West 22nd Street in New York City. 

He had seven gunshot wounds, two of which ultimately ended his life. The details of his death are a little bit fuzzy to me but as a fan, I know a few details:

• That on that day, John and Yoko welcomed Annie Leibovitz into their home to shoot a few portraits of the couple and then of John alone, later on. This was at about 3 in the afternoon and the outcome of the said shoot are now considered iconic photographs. One of the photos was used as Rolling Stone's January 22, 1981 cover. 
• That on a mid-morning stroll with his nanny in the nearby Central Park, Sean Lennon met his father's killer. He was five then, and I'm pretty sure he can't even remember what the encounter was like.
• That John Lennon signed an autograph for Mark Chapman, before entering his building's driveway. He asked him, "Is this all you want?" and Chapman sheepishly nodded yes. After the shooting, Chapman calmly took off his jacket to show the police that he's not concealing any weapons. He sat on the sidewalk, waiting for the police to arrive. 
• That once he was shot, John Lennon staggered into the steps of the building, saying "I'm shot, I'm shot!" Some people believe his last words were "Yes, I am", in response to the standard police question testing a victim's level of consciousness but the severity of his injuries make this impossible. He was most likely bleeding profusely from the mouth. 
• That there was no funeral for John Lennon, but a crowd of over 225,000 gathered in the nearby Central Park to offer ten minutes of silent prayer for Mr. Lennon. 

I was born ten years later on the very same day. I am nowhere near the legend that is Mr. Lennon but I like the fact that I share something with one of my favorite artists even if it's a little macabre. It makes me feel a bit special for sentimental reasons, Lennon's music speaks volumes to me. 

On a trip to New York, I was able to visit the building where John & Yoko lived and see for myself the driveway where Mr. Lennon breathed his last. It was an ultimate trek for any Beatles fan (NYC is not really a place to do a Beatles pilgrimage but it is my favorite place, so I like that it has at least a bit of Beatles history) and though it was pretty far from where I stayed, I still went there because I thought it would make someone I used to know very happy, wherever he is. 

Indulge me, because not many great things happen on December 08. The United States entered WW2 in 1941. Jim Morrison was born in 1943 but then I am not a big Doors fan. Then, there's the feast day of the Immaculate Concepcion but I am not the most religious person in the world (if Jesus was indeed born on the 25th of December--I did watch a documentary that said he was, in fact, a September baby--, the Virgin Mary's pregnancy is one of the longest gestation periods in mammalian history). I guess it's fitting that I choose to tell  the story of John Lennon's death on my birth date because I am more inclined to be familiar with his work than to anything else I have mentioned above.

The Dakota is located at the Upper West Side. It's at West 72nd Street, Central Park West. Right across it is the Strawberry Fields Park (inside Central Park, park within a park!), which was once the favorite walking spot of John and Yoko, a two and a half acre park with trees donated from all over the world. It's also home to the Imagine memorial, with the plate and stones donated by different nations in commemoration of John Lennon's musical influence. 

The Dakota is guarded by security 24/7, which means the property itself is closed to visitors. Securing a spot in The Dakota is also super hard because they are selective, I read that the association even rejects the applications of rich industry magnates and famous celebrities but hey! It's a pretty sexy building. Yoko Ono still lives in the same building up to this day. It's also the setting for Roman Polanski's beautiful film, Rosemary's Baby. I'm not fan of horror movies but I do like that one. I also have a picture in the memorial because I am a cheesy fangirl. Heh. The best times to visit would be during Lennon's birthday or his death anniversary, but I hope you liked my pictures even if they were taken on a simple Saturday morning.

The Dakota

1 W 72nd St

(between W Central Park and 72nd St Transverse) 

New York, NY 10023

Upper West Side

The Great Perhaps: Seattle & ferry boats

I'm a little down because someone I look up to has let me down.  And when I'm a little down, when I cannot make sense of strong women sinking into a level so low, I like writing about the places I love even when it's been years after I have been in them. I guess I do it to remind me of happier times, of where I can go, of what I can do and of how happy I can still be even on my own. 

I didn't realize I took so many photos aboard ferries, which neighboring residents use to shuttle to and from the city proper. From Bremerton, it takes roughly thirty minutes to get to the Seattle ferry port but those thirty minutes are glorious. It is a comfortable medley of the sea breeze, birds flying overhead, wonderful boats you wave to when you pass them by, and smiling people under the sun. Late in the afternoon, the deck is a good place for people lost in thought or for people like me, who fancy watching the last fire of the setting sun. I like to watch the sky and sea bathe in the golden orange blaze of the afternoon sun, I like watching as it turns  dark pink and then indigo, and then transition slowly into complete darkness as the ferry moves farther away from the city and the sun descends. At night, the ferry's deck becomes a place for lovers admiring the faint glow of the city lights and it just perfect. Perfectly lonely. 

This is a short photo set of that glorious thirty minutes of oneness, of mornings between the sea and self. A small reminder to ourselves of the vast oceans beyond us and the little that it takes to sail away. 

Seattle is a nice place. Personally, I think it is a cross between San Francisco and New York City, two of my favorite places in the world. It has the climate and the relaxed easiness of North California, and it's also surrounded by so much water much like that small but magnetic island on the Eastern Seaboard. I could live here, if neither New York nor San Francisco works out. It is a beautiful place, beautiful enough to be a part of my personal version of The Great Perhaps. It is so easy to develop a thing for ferry boats, Derek Shepherd style. Like the fictional McDreamy, I didn't plan on liking Seattle but I do now. It is a lovely place. 

Things I did this weekend: Visited a museum

For her birthday, my sister asked us if she could visit a museum (because her recent class trip was in a petting zoo and she thought it was not doing her any good, being underexposed to Philippine history). We were also supposed to take her to the walled city but it was a rainy Saturday afternoon so we skipped that part of the birthday trip. We took her to a pet store instead. 

Here are my favorite parts of the museum--a gallery detailing the galleon trade and the Spice Route, a small room for Linnean taxonomy (my favorites were the crustaceans, they made me hungry) and the many jars from an old sunken ship, the galleon San Diego. 

My sister is a little too young for the collections over at the Ayala Museum but I'm hoping I could take her one day. For now, I think she's okay with places where the entrance fee is practically free. I'm just really glad she's getting into the things I like the most. :) (The goal is to let her develop a distaste for trivialities like theme parks so that the next time we go out on a family trip abroad, she'll only ask for museums and marine conservatories. That would make me a really happy sister.)

Philippine National Museum

P. Burgos St, Rizal Park , Manila

(632) 5271215

Climb every mountain

Some of my friends are fond of going on hikes around the Philippines. They always invite me out of courtesy but I've made it pretty obvious that I'm not one for the outdoors. I'm lazy and I'm not into roughing it. Unless there's a bed and bath at the foot of that mountain, I'm not going anywhere near it. (Mostly because a trek up a mountain in a humid climate is almost always equal to an asthma attack, and I really do not want that) The only thing I'm open to climbing is a step ladder to reach books on top of a high shelf, which I offset with a lot of lying down and reading later on.

But hey, I was able to trek Mt. Olympus in Washington. Okay, perhaps trek is an exaggeration since we really went up there for the food and I spent more time at the gift shop than anywhere else. The park had a skyline trail, a lodge and really, really fresh fish (because food is the only thing I remember from trips like this) from the rivers surrounding the mountain. I found some pictures I thought I lost in the process of setting up my computer. Check it:

Olympic National Park
600 East Park Avenue
Port Angeles, WA 98362

Seattle: Day and Night

I'd like to think that certain things remain beautiful, whether in darkness or in light. Seattle, 2010.

Excuse the sudden nostalgia. I realized I have a treasure trove of pictures just sitting in my hard drive. It's been a while since I last went to somewhere scenic. I have to admit that there has been a notable lack of anything fantastic in my life (lately, at least) and it has been driving me nuts. Sweet Jesus Navas, I think I need an adventure again. Let's work on it, Universe. :)

Eat, move, learn

An amazing journey caught on film: Rick Merecki, Tim White & Andrew Lees were commissioned by STA Australia to showcase the beauty of the world. They write,

"3 guys, 44 days, 11 countries, 18 flights, 38 thousand miles, an exploding volcano, 2 cameras and almost a terabyte of footage. All to turn 3 ambitious linear concepts based on movement, learning and food into 3 beautiful and hopefully compelling short films = A trip of a lifetime."

Watch their epic journey crammed into minutes. My favorite is, naturally, the video for Eat but Move and Learn also have a magical feel of their own.

I am jealous, most definitely. Getting paid to eat and travel around the world is my ultimate dream job. See, videos like these are the reason why I'm strongly motivated to see the world for myself and "grab it by the balls". One day, one day.

Runnin' pretty, New York City girl

It has not been my week so I'm trying to cheer myself up by unearthing happy memories. We'll reunite soon, my dear New York. ♥

Some stock photos from Manhattan:

Waterside Plaza's view at dusk, the East River and the Bronx

L'appartement

Delicious treats

Rockefeller Center

West Broadway

Felix at Soho

Wine and dine and tilted poles, Soho

FDR Drive mornings (a.k.a value for exorbitant rent)

Spot the Chrysler building

The South Street Seaport & Manhattan's Financial District

That is all. I can't wait for the weekend change.