2011. To put it simply, 2011 wasn't a good year for me. In the words of a wise aunt, it was a year full of heartaches. Indeed, it was. Looking back, it seems that my losses far outweigh my gains. I seem to have cruised through the year juggling crippling disappointments in one hand and little joys in the other. Then again, a year past is a year past, and I have learned a lot this year in ways both big and small.
Fair warning: If you have limited time, watch this video instead. It is much more worthwhile than the word vomit you're about to read.
Here are 11 things I learned in 2011:
1. People are just that, people. They are susceptible to flaws, to likes and dislikes, to prejudices, and to weakness in character. Sometimes, the people you look up to will let you down. I learned that I can't really count on people to stay on my side forever. Sometimes, they think they have a second chance at love and will jump right into it, head first, propriety thrown to the wind, without thinking about the people around them or to how they (should not!) behave. Sometimes, I may just be not liked for the sake of being not likeable (I kinda am because, as an officemate put it, I am seem suplada). That is okay, too. Actually, that is better. I'd rather have that any day.
The redeeming factor of the people around me is that sometimes, people will surprise you as well. When the chips are down and you have no one to look up to or turn to, there will be people who will come through for you, which is why I won't really give up on myself or on people, in general. Kind souls wander the earth, it's just up to me to find them. This year, I am especially happy about the adults in my family, in that I am fortunate enough to have a handful of good ones always there to guide me or help out even if it's not their responsibility.
2. The past will spring itself on you randomly so it's important to be good and kind. Very recently, I found out I was working in the same organization as an old classmate of mine. I see him around once in a while. We don't greet each other but a part of me deeply regrets that I wasn't a better friend when we were in high school or even when we went to the same university for college. On hindsight, I dealt with (very badly) a lot of my insecurities during my high school and college life and in the process, I forgot to make amends or be really nice, in general. I don't know how he's doing right now but I certainly wish him well.
3. Consistency is just as important as brilliance or hard work. In 2011, I found myself taking the passive and sometimes, the flaky seat in everything I did--work, school, relationships. I learned later this year that inconsistency is like brewing poison. Sooner or later, it will overflow and the first person who'll catch a whiff will be the very person who brewed it. Next year and in the years after that, I should be consistent in everything I do: Go big or go home, no matter how I'm feeling. (And, of course, I must never pick home or medicines--since I was very sickly this year.)
4. When the stock goes bad, it has to be sold. I am a big fan of holding out and holding on but life doesn't really give you much of a choice in this matter. When something you hold on to starts being bad for you, you have to let go. Food, we have to re-align our relationship in 2012. My obsession for you isn't healthy anymore. Of course, this also applies to bigger things such as relationships that just won't work or mutual understandings that will forever be stuck at a standstill.
5. It's important to save, save, save for the rainy days. This goes hand in hand with number four. While I am not like most girls who spend their monthly income on gadgets, parties or clothes, I do spend a lot on books and food. I'm already 21 and if I really want to follow through with my Big Relocation Plans for My Adult Life, I should start saving up.
6. You will never know the cards you'll draw and how long you'll be keeping them. This April, we happily celebrated my grandmother's birthday. She had a birthday cake that said 18, and she was laughing because it was such a silly cake. Months later, she was lying in a hospital bed, so weak and so frail from all the tests they had to do. This made me realize that I should really make it a point to be there for the people in my life more, especially the more senior ones and of course, the little monster in our household. Just kidding, Bemmy!
My sister, if you still don't know by now, is the light of my life. She currently occupies that place my father once had in my heart and every day, I am delighted to see how she's growing up into a bright, sprightly little girl with her funny jokes, her little notes and yes, even her temper that can rival mine (but I hope to God and all his glory, not our mother's). I'm happy that we were fortunate enough to spend time with each other a lot this year. While my heart breaks a little whenever I think of all the fun things she won't be able to do with our Papa anymore, I'm really happy that I can take her out on little outings or to buy her toys. I won't be able to fill our dad's shoes but I can at least help her have a happy childhood.
7. Our relationships with people won't always stay the same. I built closer and deeper relationships with some very cool people this year and I also drifted away (sometimes unknowingly, sometimes by circumstance, sometimes because of relocation, sometimes because I just don't like them anymore) from others. I'm very thankful for all the great friends I have made this year and for those who I have been fortunate enough to know better. Sometimes, the girls who look and act the snobbiest are the girls who are most fun. Also, meek looking guys are sometimes wolves in sheep's clothing. Ladies, your shot guns should be locked and loaded. This year, I also learned that there are no awkward or boring moments with true friends even if you haven't seen each other in months or even in a year. That was a nice realization.
8. I learned that we really do waste it when we're young. Shitty years are also years of so much introspection, which is obvious in every blogger-having-a-shitty-year's posts. I realized that I could have made so much use of my time when I was younger. I could have tried harder in learning and mastering a foreign language, I could have been braver in starting a life elsewhere, so many I could have beens. Something has to be done about that in 2012. We will start with school and work. :)
9. This year, I also learned that it's alright to have poor choices and to own up to it. I made quite a few bad decisions that I would have not made had I known how the rest of my world will turn out afterwards. Then again, if I hadn't done these things, I wouldn't know any better. I will also not know that I am but a speck in this universe. My woes do not even amount to an iota of real life tragedies. I should always be grateful for shallow problems but of course, I stress over them all the time.
8. On a happier note, 2011 is also a year of reading, cooking and baking. It's not just losing, weeping and generally, failing at all things this year. I have had the time to read leisurely but interestingly, I don't have a Best Book I've Read in 2011. I don't know why but I really want to be a great cook so I'm glad I had a lot of chances to be better in the kitchen this year. Although honestly, I think I just started an unhealthy addiction to Knorr seasoning (my father won't let me touch the stuff when he was alive) and to romance novels set in 18th/19th century Europe. (*gasps* OH NOOO!)
10. Beauty is pain. I have the beauty regimen of a genetically blessed, 7ft tall Russian model, in that I get up and go in the morning without any thought or regard to the way I look and to the terror my bare face, unkempt hair and baby whale build brings to humanity. My friends Kat and Rach tell me I have to do something about this. I might but as a perennial lazy ass, I'm not even sure where or how to start. Then again, this is such a shallow learning. I am so sorry the past two numbers are a waste of YOUR time.
11. Lastly, I learned that growing older and wiser is a choice you have to make. I have learned that life's worst tragedies may force a person to step-up, set their priorities straight and be better, in general, but this does not mean that everyone who struggle comes out better. People can always sink lower or be stuck in the rut that they got into. The people who succeed in getting away from baggage chose to get away. It is a slow process and it takes hard work but I am around so many of these people that I know it IS possible. This year, I learned the true definition of priorities and how a myopic life view can be a person's downfall. I wouldn't want that for myself. Thank God, I have all of 2012 and the years after to work on it.
What are the things you've learned in 2011? Kudos for surviving the year and if you had an especially rough and tough year like I did, I hope you come out of 2012 shining. You deserve it. Cheers! Happy New Year.
Oh Octopus, a new year awaits.
Love,
Reisha
