I was supposed to go around the city by myself today but since it was raining pretty hard and I've been let down by all the unnecessary purchases I had to make for today (an umbrella, maxi pads etc etc.), I decided to end the day early and spend time at Borders instead. Borders, if you don't know, is a book and music store. Unlike bookstores in the Philippines where every book is wrapped up in plastic and every shelf is labeled "Private Reading is not allowed", bookstores in the First World have full faith in its customers in that they leave all books plastic wrap-free and the whole four floors of their store yours for taking. I actually love this idea because it makes customers respect the place and the power of learning through books automatically. I also love it for more practical reasons like the fact that it enables me to save and speed read.Today, I finished My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler within an hour. It's not a bad read, only a little less than two hundred pages, and if I may say so, Chelsea Handler is someone I would like to have as that friend we all live vicariously through. How can you not love a book that begins with, "I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order." To put it bluntly, My Horizontal Life is a collection of stories about the men Chelsea has slept with. And while I try to refine my selection of literature to only the most worthy of my time (because life is short and books are never-ending), I devoured this read. I completely and totally laughed at some parts and was just mind blown by this girl's audacity and total no B.S. outlook in life. It was as if she was born into this world with a mind of a forty year old. She is truly amazing.
Here are some quotes I got from this wonderful book:
"I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people."
"I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around."
"He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better."
"I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends."
"At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and then some Matthew McConaughey type either whips around the corner just in the nick of time to save her or is clumsily pulled down along with her. That event predictably leads to the magical moment of their first kiss. Please. I fall ALL the time. You know who comes and gets me? The bouncer."
"There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers."
What did I tell you? This woman is made of pure, unencumbered amazing.
Oh! And since we're talking about it, this has to be linked and re-watched.
