I really like this picture of my grandparents that my cousin posted. My grandmother is 84 today but one of the things I love to do when I'm at her house is to look at their photo albums. The whole family wore such great clothes in the years past. My favorites are pictures from the fifties to the seventies because they were such colorful photos. My father and his siblings wore loud prints that clashed, bell-bottoms and those nifty aviator Raybans. It was a happy time. I loved those pictures.
I never got to meet my grandfather. He died when my dad was in his early twenties. I've heard a lot of great stories about him, people say he's a lot like my dad in that they look alike and they had the same gentle demeanor. I hear my Grandpa was, like my dad, also quite a fan of skincare products and smart dressing. He must have been a remarkable man. I can tell my father loved him dearly with the way he's always telling stories about him or what life was like when his dad was still around. I know he idolized him a lot. Once, on a book run (I used to make my Papa buy books I read for fun on any given weekend), my father was very pleased to find out I had Sinatra songs on my shuffle. He told me these songs were his dad's songs, and then he kept singing along until we got home. That was a very nice moment between Ben, Benjie, and I.
It will be December in a few hours. I lost my dad on a Thursday in December, two years ago. It was five days before my birthday and our conversations that day were simple but great, from what gift would I like to have (I said a Blackberry, he said, "Okay."), my plans after graduation (I only had a term left, he was so excited because he wanted me to go law school or take master's), and if I'd like to invite family over on my birthday (my uncle told me later on that he was in fact looking for crabs to cook on my birthday, they're my favorite so I know finding mud crabs in December is very hard). I still don't know what went wrong that day but I now know how to turn the switch off when I begin thinking about it.
You don't really forget the pain, you just learn how to live through it. Later on, I will find out that this valuable lesson is applicable to everything in life. You live through things. Nothing is ever that big of a deal because you can and will carry on. I never really imagined that he would never see me grow older or be the person he always wanted me to be, which is why I like this picture of my Grandpa.
I'd like to think this is how my Papa would've looked like had he grown older, same bushy eyebrows and that very friendly face. He is, after all, my grandfather's junior. Hello, Benjamins. I hope you're both enjoying heaven.
