Where do we go when we die?

For my grandmother, who already went her way.

The past few weeks have been painful for everyone in my family. I had to take over our household in the city as my mother shuttled back and forth, trying to keep up with work and taking care of her dying mom. A lot of sacrifices and decisions were also made in order to end my grandmother's pain. The last two years were very hard for her, seeing the people she loved pass away and then losing her sight later on. It was all too much for me, to be honest. How can life cause one person so much pain, in so many ways?

Last Wednesday, Lola finally broke free from the body that was causing her so much suffering. I am glad she has already passed on because I know she needed to rest. In my opinion, life had been very cruel to her. I found it amazing that up to the very end, she still had the will to live, only her body is already breaking down. I am proud that she put up a good fight. Now, she's free from pain and maybe, just maybe, she can see us all again.

Hello, Lola. Welcome home. :)

I think I'm a little bit in love with you

Hands down, I'm too proud for love
But with eyes shut, it's you I'm thinking of
But how we move from A to B, it can't be up to me

Cos I don't know eye to eye

Thigh to thigh, I let go
♥

Lykke Li - Little Bit

I can't believe this song has been around for four years now! It's been stuck in my head the whole work week and I have to say, it's such an underrated song. Drizzy Drake joined Lykke in a remix but I like the original version better.

Happy weekend! :)

The East will stuff you dead

I've been feeling really low lately because I am unable to get what I want when I want it. It sounds like a rather selfish and bratty problem, I'm sure, but what I want are intangible things. Simply put, I just really want to be the best at what I do (graduate school, competitive examinations, fighting for career postings etc.) and I really want to have time for what I want to do (studying, reading, resting etc). Obviously, the only time I have is to whine which is what I do whenever I open this site. Basically, my problems stem from my constant need to improve and the fact that I am unable to do so (because of certain factors such as laziness, work, reality, being sickly, responsibilities) at the moment. I guess my time will come but I'm getting older and I feel like I haven't really accomplished a lot at age 20. It disappoints me, to be honest, that I'm stuck in a quarter life limbo so early on in the game.

Okay, so between school and work and hating myself for not being the best, I have been eating. As you know, I like to eat my feelings away. I've been having really bad days lately and sometimes, I like to end bad days with food and stories. I had a nice and really cheap dinner with the two K's last week. It was an excellent food and gab fest capped by an attempt to play wonderful old songs inside a pseudo American diner.

I still want a lot of things but for now, food makes it all better.

Keishia, who owns the blog Dance Like We Used To :)

Kevin (who is a special candidate to Hult Business School of London) burst into song when Aretha came along. Note the SWAG. "What you want? Baby, I got it!"

My dad and I love Elvis and his All Shook Up. "I'm in love, ooooh, I'm all shook up!" :)

I know all the words to Chantilly Lace

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me...

Runnin' pretty, New York City girl

It has not been my week so I'm trying to cheer myself up by unearthing happy memories. We'll reunite soon, my dear New York. ♥

Some stock photos from Manhattan:

Waterside Plaza's view at dusk, the East River and the Bronx

L'appartement

Delicious treats

Rockefeller Center

West Broadway

Felix at Soho

Wine and dine and tilted poles, Soho

FDR Drive mornings (a.k.a value for exorbitant rent)

Spot the Chrysler building

The South Street Seaport & Manhattan's Financial District

That is all. I can't wait for the weekend change.

Substance over style

From Nina Garcia's The Style Strategy.

Go Outside

Some of the songs I like are getting so much love from the media lately. I just found out Darren Criss covered Neon Trees' Animals for Glee. The Queen of All Love Songs Who Must Be Hailed and Sanctified, Adele, has been getting so much love for her new album. I love that the Glee kids are all over her and that Someone Like You is starting to climb up the charts. My favorite, so far, is Dave Franco & Emma Roberts' MTV Supervideo for Cults - Go Outside. (I'm so glad they're not called The Cults, although there's nothing wrong with that!) I like how this video has a classic California feel to it plus the cast looks great. Don't take my word for it, watch it.

This song is quite special to me because it reminds me of afternoons in San Francisco when I was just a lowly (but really, so much happier) intern. I would make plans in my head to go to Union Square at exactly 5:00 PM and just stay there, by myself, to people-watch. HAHAHA. Back then, this song was on-repeat all the time. Oh, those were the days. I also have a special place in my heart for James Franco and his ability to bite off more than he can chew and swallow it nonetheless so, yes. It works that the actor in the video is a good looking Franco.

PS: My writing is getting worse day by day. Just so you know, I did spend the last two days studying and writing (by hand, six hours straight for a test) so my brain is just stimulated differently nowadays. I'm looking forward to the month ahead because it spells big changes for me. Graduate school and the career I want for myself are both big commitments and I now realize the road will not be easy at all. I'm scared but genuinely thankful for the opportunities to balance the two together. Things are bound to get better. :)