The Pleasure of Leaving

Paper Towns¹ is a story about a high school senior named Quentin Jacobsen (nickname: Q) who has been entranced by his neighbor, Margo Roth Spiegelman, since time immemorial. Margo Roth Spiegelman is spunky, mysterious, strikingly beautiful and very adventurous. It is easy for someone like Q to confuse his attraction to Margo's enigmatic personality for love and this is precisely what he does.

A few weeks before their high school graduation, Margo shows up in Q's bedroom and takes him on a night filled with adventure (mostly of the mischievous, revenge prank kind). Their little night-out ends with Margo and Q slow-dancing in SeaWorld (which they broke into in the dead of the night) and her whispering the words "I. Will. Miss. Hanging. Out. With. You." in his ear before they part. Expectedly, Margo Roth Spiegelman doesn't show up in school the next day.

When Margo stops showing up to class altogether, Q realizes that it isn't just one of Margo's random disappearing acts. He, together with friends Ben, Radar and Lacey, searches for clues that might lead them to Margo's whereabouts, clues that Q thinks Margo left for him to find.

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It took me an entire week to re-read this book that by Friday, it's beat-up and quite dirty. I'm a little bit sad about that but I'm extremely happy about the story and its pacing. I quite like it despite the fact that the characters in John Green's body of work are eerily similar to one another. One can easily find similarities in Quentin Jacobsen and Colin Singleton (An Abudance of Katherines) and in Margo Roth Spiegelman and Alaska Young (Looking for Alaska). Aside from that, the book is just great. It's very witty and spot on. I wasn't as articulate as Q or Ben or Radar when I was in high school and I sure as hell wasn't a Margo or a Lacey but I loved and understood the way they all connected.

I especially liked the fact that the book touched on the difference between the way we picture people and the way they really are. In page 282, John Green wrote, "What a treacherous thing to believe that a person is more than a person" and that's totally true. Q didn't really love Margo, he loved his own idea of who she is. We sometimes let ourselves build a castle out of what is essentially a straw house, not because of naïveté but because we all hope for the best, especially in affairs of the heart. Finding out that the person you've been pinning for is actually an asshole may be one of the worst feelings in the world. It's definitely not up there with civil war, nuclear holocaust and famine but heartbreak wise, it comes pretty close to complete spirit wreckage. We can always pick ourselves up from something like that but this book is a good reminder of saving one's self from self-destruction.

I also realized that John Green's novels are always about kids in search of an adventure or something, in general, whether it's to prove a relationship theorem, the Great Perhaps or Paper Towns. I don't know what other readers feel about that but I like it, it's a huge reason why I'm a fan of his writing. I like the hope that the search for something brings. I like the promise of the unknown. I like the pleasure of leaving.

"She'd told me: the pleasure isn't in doing the thing, the pleasure is in planning it...

...She reads the Whitman and highlights 'I tramp a perpetual journey,' because that's the kind of thing she likes to imagine herself doing. The kind of thing she likes to plan.

But is it the kind of thing she likes to actually do? No. Because Margo knows the secret of leaving. The secret I have only just now learned: leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Ruling life out by the roots. But you can't do that until your life has grown roots.

And so when she left, she left for good."

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¹Paper Towns are fictitious towns added in maps to serve as copyright traps.

Get with the program

It took an entire payday (and quite possibly, my first shot at inconveniencing my boss¹) to file everything that I need so I can take my GAT but thankfully, I have generous professors who were kind enough to squeeze my forms into their very busy schedules. It's a bit affirming, knowing that I was exchanging messages with somebody I really look up to, an exchange that started out with my plea for help and then later on became an invitation to chat about novels at the department (!!!). Hey, that counts as something no? School also counts as something I can look forward to in 2011 and hopefully, as a step towards New York (which is my original plan but it sort of fell apart when the world made me realize I'm not academically qualified for a foreign university just yet) within two years. I believe in the power of positive thinking. We will do this.

In any case, I already took my GAT (I took it today! It was fairly easy but we never know) and I've begun preparing for January by revisiting old lectures through my readings and my trusty podcasts (which I used to use as a studying shortcut whenever my readings pile up) from iTunes University².

God, I can't wait to go back. I'm obviously very happy about all of this and if the graduate school motivation graph³ is used as a point of reference, one will be able to tell that I haven't gone far ahead. Which is okay because the most important point of this entry is that I'm right on schedule. And that I haven't given up on my life's Masterplan and/or my dreams.

At least, not yet. (Okay, I hope and pray that I won't ever have to but again, we never know)

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¹Well, I'm not really sure. I think my boss is a genuinely nice person so I got off work easily, but I am speaking only from impression and the premise that I like to believe the best of people. I'm just assuming I got an easy pass because I'm new but I'm very unhappy about missing days from work this early. (The weather also made it impossible for me to go to work last tuesday, jsyk)

² I kind of favor lectures from Columbia University's SIPA program because that's my dream school and program (albeit I am underfunded). Sometimes when I feel like geeking out, I get stuff from the Humanities selection. Favorite: Marianne Talbot.

³ This graph. Get with the program!

Who are you to say I won't make it?

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt, 1910

Pour Un Garçon Français

I'm re-posting this entry from dancelikeweusedto, even if I've reblogged it on tumblr. What's the use of having so many social networking sites if I can't waste online space? I'm also re-posting because a.) it's my favorite music blog and b.) I have no time to write about the uneventful phenomena that is my life. Also, I really, really, really like this entry because it is dedicated to me and my (unrealistic love for) Yoann Gourcuff. I am as self-involved as self-involved goes but does it really matter? Of course not, as long as it amounts to good music between your ears. Thank you, Keishia. My week is made. (I can't wait for it to end. It's only a monday, go figure!)

dancelikeweusedto:

Album cover (L-R): Gaspard Ulliel, Louis Garrel and Yoann Gourcuff aka prominent Frenchmen whose intense stares got girls saying, "Oh mon dieu! Oui oui, prenez-moi!"

1. Moi Je Joue by Brigitte Bardot
2. Tout Doucement by Feist
3. Tu Es Beau by Yelle
4. You and I by Ingrid Michaelson
5. Tongue Tied by Charlie Winston
6. La Liste by Rose
7. Like A Star by Corinne Bailey Rae
8. Le Ciel Dans Une Chambre by Carla Bruni
9. Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
10. Little Bit by Lykke Li
11. La Vie En Rose by Edith Piaf

DOWNLOAD ZIP FILE HERE

'Pour Un Français Garçon' is a compilation of French love songs. I made a few exceptions by including some English songs to lengthen and complete this mix. This mix is for Reisha and her petit ami, Yoann Gourcuff. And to everyone who's hang up on a French guy. Pour moi, c'est Gaspard Ulliel.

Bisous,
Ton amie Keishia

P.S. I messed up with the grammar, it's supposed to be 'garçon français', but whatever, right? I don't want to redo everything.

Something Borrowed, Emily Giffin

Well, someone has to do it right? I have to read these things so I can tell you that this is just another chick lit and that if you, like me, have nothing better to do, then by all means...pick up this book. I really liked it though, it was a good way to pass time.

Something Borrowed is the story of a 30-year old lawyer named Rachel White and how she has always lived by the rules, under her best friend's shadow. It took her years (twenty-five, to be exact) before she realized that hey, she is only young once and she has to live a little. While I do not recommend sleeping with your best friend's fiancé (not to mention, boyfriend of seven years--the same one you introduced many years ago), I thought the book was a great reminder of the many instances we pass up on because we are too scared of bending the rules and living a little. Personally, I have had quite a share of misfortunes I can only chalk up to experience and surreal moments that I will never ever regret but if you do not count out the many times I have chickened out of, say for example, a chance at starting somewhere new and far away, an underfunded scholarship or a simple date with someone I hardly know, I am way too safe for the adventures that has come and gone my way. This kind of life is the same one Something Borrowed tells you NOT to have. I can't say I don't agree.

The trouble with reading chick lit, at least for me, is that I cannot really gush about it because it doesn't leave me feeling renewed or changed. It's like a little summer fling that only excites you for the first two weeks and then just gradually wears off once school is about to start again, you are thankful for the kissing, ultimately, but are only too happy to walk away. The book is just that, fun to read. And oh, okay, stimulating. Mostly because I like to behave like a lady and these fictional girls are the girls I like to live vicariously through--what with their careers (Rachel is a lawyer; Dexter Thaler, the person she is having an affair with, is a corporate lawyer), fantastic summer vacations (Hello, Hamptons!), access to hot bars and delicious cocktails (Gramercy, for me and you) and amazing sex lives (which has led me to believe that New York dating = only for the tough). Who doesn't love the drama?

The dialogue is sharp and witty, which is always comforting for this genre. I have to admit Rachel White (or Emily Giffin, by default) and I share a lot of common views about many things. A+ because it was fun reading this book within a day, as it is very exciting to see a girl get the guy she's always wanted, a.k.a. The One That (Almost) Got Away, even with a moral code as pretentious as mine. Oh, to be loved. Where I come from, this book can be summed up with one...uhm..cliché: Masarap ang bawal. And as a bastion of doing all things bawal, this book is worth it. Chasing happiness sometimes means no right or wrong. No moral absolutes. The world is not that black-and-white. It's either you want to be happy or you don't. Karma? What karma?

PS: Excuse the abysmal quality of my photo, I am feeling very lazy today. Plus, it's not one of those books. You know.

I got the world in my hand, the masterplan

Christian Dior Denim Flow - Kanye West, Kid Cudi, John Legend, Lloyd Banks, Pusha T, Ryan Leslie | Download via Kanye.com

I've been listening to (and loving!) this track the whole day. It's just really good and I believe we haven't had something like this in a while. Kanye West (YEEZY!), Kid Cudi, John Legend, Lloyd Banks, Pusha T and Ryan Leslie in one track! How awesome is that? I thought it was an homage to gorgeous models at first but when I listened to the song, I realized it was written for the homegirls! FINALLY, NO? *virtual high-fives all around!* Why Christian Dior when the megabrand is really spelled as Cristian? I don't know, I guess spelling it as such is just a lawsuit waiting to happen or a profit waiting to be divided. What I do know is that I really, really, really like this song. Drake and Swizz Beatz' Fancy might be my current favorite (I just love Fancy! Intelligent too/Ooh, you're my sweetheart/I've always liked my women book and street smart/) but this song comes a really close second. I uploaded them for kicks. Go get 'em! They're just sooooo good.

Some girls just walk in the light. Indeed.

Old Man Pablo

Hello! I'm going to blog a bit because I can't sleep. Just to state the obvious, I'm never going to run out of pictures from New York. I have a 4GB card full but to be honest, I might have had a few escapades I cannot talk about. Mostly because there are times when I can be unbelievably confident and for a small-town girl alone in a big city like New York, being forward is just very unbecoming.

One day, I decided to ride the bus to the MET (Metropolitan Museum of Modern Art). I was alone but a group of young tourists from a French public school offered to tag me along as they go around the museum. I declined, of course, because how can I flail over regency England set-ups in the presence of European boys? I figured they probably wanted me to come with because I am big enough to be their bodyguard. That or the simple fact that I translated a few sentences describing Byzantine art to these fine gentlemen. Regret only comes back to haunt you when you're already in Third World Philippines, wondering why nobody pings you on MSN e-v-e-r. Huhu. Haha. Just kidding. Anyway, moving along..

I roamed around the museum alone. The whole thing took me four hours. I found myself reveling at the items inside the American History wing the most.

I have a thing for chairs, so I took a picture of these old American chairs on display. I actually have a small list in my head of the chairs I want to buy when I earn big: Philippe Starck's Louis ghost chairs, the Heima couch, those Victorian lounge chairs I saw in Dimensione and Locsin International's onion couch in black. Aaah, I can't wait.

I got bored walking around so off I went to a secluded wing to buy a painting of my ancestors. CHOS! I'm just kidding. I'm not sure why there are a lot of paintings which are not on display anymore but storing them inside glass cases is the next best thing.

These girls are my favorite. The portrait on the right is actually reproduced as prints, greeting cards or postcards and is sold all over the museum gift shops. I should have bought one. Look at her, she's beautiful.

Being right in time for Picasso's exhibit made my trip worth it. It is easily the highlight of my Manhattan 2010, a feat since I have been shopping in stores I wouldn't even dare enter alone during my stay in NY (I have fairy GRANDmothers). Still, art > any material thing.

I have been a fan of Pablo Picasso ever since I read his autobiography in college. I've always looked at him as a tormented genius, someone so passionate about his art but really cold-blooded towards people. My favorite Picasso anecdote was when he cut his son and grandchildren in order to mix their blood into his paints. It was so twisted but it was the same detachment he showed towards his family that attracted me into learning more about him. I was so interested in his passion for his art that I didn't realize he's already become the artist I know most about. His life is just so colorful and so sexual. I am very pleased that politics and social issues found its way through his art, no matter how much his style has evolved throughout his creative years. It just shows how great an influence culture can be. As a matter of fact, it *is* the greatest influence an artist (or a person) can have.

I know Picasso has done a lot of commendable artwork and paintings, from Cubism to Surrealism to his infamous Blue and Rose Periods. However, my favorite is still and will always be his charcoal sketches and rubber prints. There is something about the simplicity of his art in these mediums that speaks so strongly to me. I actually dream of exploring places like Barcelona, Madrid, most of Spain and parts of France just to get a feel about his creative process. I'm a big fan of creative artists and troubled geniuses, I would love to learn more about Picasso through his culture.

Most of these sketches are nude, erotic or extremely objectifying. I. Just. Love. It.

An original announcement for one of Mr. P's shows.

I don't need to tell you something about the prominence of clowns in one of Picasso's series. The most famous of which is Le Clown et l'Harlequin and the White Clown. Some of his famous works like The Dreamer (the painting above) were also featured.

This print or partial sketch of three ladies bathing was imprinted into a big canvas bag that museum folks sold for $47 a piece. I love Pablo P and all, but I don't think I will ever pay for katsa that expensive. Even if I had the money. Which I don't, usually.

These rubber prints are my favorite. Picasso made these for the King and Queen of Spain at that time, in the hope of getting more funding in the future.

I spent some time looking at his sketches, mostly because they are my favorite set. I really think these works have been overlooked because they're just sketches. That or I'm really into school and I've been trying to make my mind work by connecting art and art history to psychology. Temperance Brennan and Meredith Grey will not approve.

Critics argue that these sketches are not only overtly sexual, they also objectify women. I just think they're sexy and gorgeous. It's a plus fact that Pablo Picasso was totally into gorditas for a time. Hey, it isn't everyday that we're objectified. It might be bad but we're all a little vain inside. It feels good. Kind of. (Don't mind me, I don't know what I'm talking about)

Lastly, my all-time favorite Picasso artwork:

La Douleur, painted in 1902 (0r 1903, no one is sure) using oil on canvas. People refer to it plainly as the erotic scene. He was very young when he painted this, he was only twenty-two but look at that painting of himself being fellated by a woman. It is the most sexually charged painting I have ever seen and even then, I think Pablo Picasso already had a carnal knowledge of both his personal pleasures and his art. He is a genius. Always.

Forever amazed.

Some days are meant for pasta

I'm not the biggest fan or patron of pasta. I'm actually very carnivorous and very asian, in that I like my rice as much as I like my meat. Fortunately, there are lazy days that really call for pasta. Like weekends or break-up months or Christmas time. It's not a secret that I like to putter around the kitchen whenever I have free time. I'm not exactly big on writing about my experiments with food because how redundant can I be? Like, seriously? A fat foodie? Heh. I have nothing to talk about so I'm making an exception. This recipe is as simple as it goes. I already wrote about this dish on my tumblr but I'm blogging about it again with the full recipe (my own tweakage of the standard tomato cream pasta).

Ingredients:

2 tbsps. truffle oil

2 tbsps. butter

1 small onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 250g all-purpose cream

10 oz. tomato sauce (I used 3/4 of a can)

salt and pepper to taste

1 tbsp of brown sugar (to counter the acidity of the sauce)

about 200 grams of sausage, chopped

dried basil leaves (if you have fresh ones, go for it!)

grated Pecorino Romano cheese

450 g linguine¹, cooked to package directions

Preparation instructions:

Heat butter and oil over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saute for a minute or so. Add chopped sausage and let it brown a bit (if you like salty and garlicky sausages, you can omit the garlic and just saute it with onions but I like my sausages sweet so, yeah). Pour in tomato sauce and add salt, pepper, and sugar to taste. Stir and cook over low heat for about 15 to 20 minutes, stirring occasionally (I turn off the heat when my sauce is thick and the color turns into a really deep red. I also add a dash of dried basil leaves just a few minutes before I turn off the heat. Adding it any time sooner is just overpowering). Remove from heat and stir in cream. Pour over drained pasta and toss to coat. Garnish with grated Pecorino Romano (or Parmesan cheese) and more dried basil leaves (if you want to!). Serve.

My sister likes this a lot but she wants it sausage-and-herb-free and really cheesy. My mother suggested I put mushrooms the next time I make one. A friend of mine puts red pepper flakes in his recipe. I would've used fresh basil and sun dried tomatoes (instead of tomato sauce) if I had the option. I think it's a matter of personal preference. Enjoy!

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¹You can use other kinds of pasta, I just prefer linguine because it's firm and it cooks well. :D I think this kind of recipe works well with fussili and penne too, because it's saucy and creamy but what the hell do I know? I just like to eat. Period.